I’m no scientician, but I vaguely recall there being a principle that states you can calculate either the position or velocity of a particle, but not both. Something to do with the particles being affected by the measurement itself.

Who knew my son had so much in common with quantum mechanics?

I’ve done my best to describe Ian’s choreographic genius, but it really loses something in translation. And no matter how quick or inconspicuous I am, I’ve never managed to actually get this kid on camera. He sees the camera, stops dancing, and smiles.

‘Cheeeeese! I want to see it!’

When I do manage to film without him knowing, he seems to sense that something is amiss, and reverts to running in circles.

But now Ian’s secret is out. Last Friday, while walking after dinner, we stumbled upon a jazz combo playing in a hotel lounge. And a camera-phone is much smaller than a video camera. The footage is Bigfootesque in its pixelation, but, I assure you, this is Ian dancing.

He’s a strange little quark.