Grandma Georgina had foolishly taken four Wonka-Vite pills, which—at the rate of one year per second—made her eighty years younger. Unfortunately she was seventy-eight at the time. As Charlie worryingly did the math, Willy Wonka assured the boy that he’s developed a cure for such an eventuality: Vita-Wonk. Mr. Wonka explained that, to counter the […]
Ian doesn’t want to read. He loves being read to, he just doesn’t want to do it himself. I’m of two minds. On the one hand, I was also worried that he wouldn’t crawl, walk, talk, count to ten, or eat an ice cream cone without using his ears. Still working on that last one. […]
Last night Ian opened a tea shop in the bathroom. He set cups of Mr. Bubbly bathwater along the edge of the tub, and cried his wares through the door. ‘Mommy, do you want green tea?’ ‘Do you have any iced tea?’ ‘No. But I can make it for you!’ Another cup joined the ranks. […]
Ian was snuggled next to me during our pastor’s Father’s Day sermon, drawing on the bulletin because I wouldn’t let him use a collection envelope. He was using the open Bible on my knee as a table. Suddenly, with an over-zealous flourish, the tip of the pencil strayed from bulletin to Proverbs and a small, […]
We spent the week eating corn fritters in the morning and ice cream in the evening, walking on the beach and building sand castles. As the sun sets on the gulf, tiny mollusks no bigger than a fingernail line the shore. They rise from the sand with each passing wave, popping to the surface in […]
Ian has this…laugh. It’s forced and painful, like a diversionary chuckle following an awkward pause after an off-color joke. It’s a role he assumes when he thinks someone should be laughing. The cats are chasing each other or he’s misplaced a book or I’ve dropped something. Those silly cats, my silly self, that silly Daddy. […]
If you’re coming to St. Louis this summer, be sure to make a special visit to the Missouri Botanical Garden. Through 31 October, the garden is featuring the work of pop-artist Niki de Saint Phalle. Sprinkled throughout the garden are forty ‘larger-than-life mosaic sculptures’ adorned with glass beads, pebbles, mirrored fragments, and ceramic tiles. All […]
Ian unearthed a toy mobile phone during last Friday’s weekly treasure hunt at Grammie’s. It’s a slider, much smaller and cooler than mine, even though it’s plastic and only connects to a cheerful Japanese operator. Kelly was driving home while Ian tried to plan their day: ‘Missouri…Botanical Garden…Start over…Missouri…Missouri Botanical Garden…One…’
Parental Recollections By Charles Lamb A child’s a plaything for an hour; Its pretty tricks we try For that or for a longer space; Then tire, and lay it by. But I knew one, that to itself All seasons could controul; That would have mock’d the sense of pain Out of a grieved soul. Thou, […]
Lately Ian’s first response to anything—bath, bed, green beans, global warming—is to whine. It’s like watching The View or listening to NPR. Depending upon the perceived level of annoyance and/or inconvenience, his whining covers the spectrum from a dejected ‘Aww!’ to a piercing, face-crumpling, foot-stomping cry that sometimes makes me thankful we don’t own a […]