In a concerted effort to make others feel more welcome, Ian now addresses people by their common nouns. If he doesn’t know someone’s name, he’ll use the next best thing: man, lady, cat, dog. Kelly said that yesterday a woman jokingly asked Ian where his mother was (right next to him). She received an enthusiastic, ‘Hi, lady!’

The problem is that he’s also started throwing in adjectives. A couple weeks ago, Ian spotted a man in a crowd and for some reason chose to greet him instead of the dozens of other people. ‘Hi, old man!’ I don’t remember the circumstances, and I don’t recall the man, but I do remember feeling that man was far from ‘old’. Thankfully, he didn’t hear Ian.

The next noun on Ian’s list: discretion. There are a lot of adjectives out there.