We gave Ian a hand-held V.Smile for his birthday. I figure the mental degradation by video games is counter-balanced by our getting rid of cable a few months ago. Besides, no one likes a kid who’s too smart for his own good.

So far his favorite game is Dora the Explorer, which proves that irony is alive and well in our family.

Catechism is finished for the year but choir has a few weeks left, and Ian’s been coming with us to rehearsals. Coming to your parents’ choir rehearsal? What more could a four-year-old want from life? Last week, I let Ian bring his V.Smile. And a pair of headphones.

After making sure everyone in the choir knew that he was now, in fact, four years old, Ian took himself and his bag of tricks to the robe closet. There’s a nook with mirrors facing each other, and he likes to sit between them and wave at himself.

Toward the end of the second piece, I heard a low, growling noise. I thought maybe a fellow bass had gotten carried away, but no one else seemed to have heard anything. I heard it again when we stopped, and noticed a friend in my section laughing. He nodded his head toward the closet.

‘Hgrrrrrrrrrrah!’ I followed the sound.

Ian was hunched over his V.Smile, nose nearly touching the screen. ‘Grrrrrr!’ I tapped his head, and he flinched. He looked at me and frowned, pointing at the screen. ‘That spider won’t move,’ he said. Except that he was wearing headphones. ‘THE SPIDER WON’T MOVE!’

I pulled the headphones off. ‘Kiddo, it’s just a game.’

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