Costumes are fun, aren’t they? It’s a treat pretending you’re someone else, especially someone from such wonderful books as Harry Potter. We considered wearing costumes ourselves, but weren’t able to find anything appropriate on such short notice.

Call me old-fashioned, but I think propriety is important. There are times and places, and —like it or not—expectations. I believe propriety is especially important when dealing with children. I don’t swear in front of children, or let my son watch The Simpsons, or wear t-shirts with puerile sexual innuendo to the playground. Or anywhere else, for that matter.

I’ve read six-and-three-fourths of the Harry Potter books. Six of them several times. We own the hardback, paperback, and audio book versions of all but the last. And while J.K. Rowling is rather imaginative and descriptive, I simply can’t recall her ever introducing a dominatrix to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

No patent-leather boots or fish-net stockings, no push-up bra or oversmall bodice. I remember dungeons and chains, but never in the context you seemed to imply.

Not that I don’t appreciate creativity and effort. There was a woman dressed as Fawkes and another as Madame Maxine (on stilts!). There was a man dressed as Sirius Black in his prison photo. A young girl wearing a toilet seat around her neck was dressed as Moaning Myrtle. There were dozens of children dressed as Harry Potter or Hermione Granger or Ron Weasley. The street was crawling with Gryffindor students.

The street was crawling with children.

Even my four-year-old son, who’s never read Harry Potter (nor had seen a dominatrix) was there, brandishing a glow wand he’d been given at Borders. You probably don’t remember him, but you nodded to him when he waved at you. He also asked a few pointed questions after we’d passed you and your friends. Questions I wasn’t expecting until at least high school, but certainly not at a Harry Potter street party.

For future reference, I’d just like to recommend a little consideration and forethought before polishing your boots for a night on the town. They may be appropriate for your office Halloween party, less so for a party born of children’s literature.

All the Best,
Jared

p.s. Please tell your berobed escort that the ‘British’ accent was a nice touch, but he should probably pick one of them.