Over the past twelve years, John Patton, his wife, and other members of the St. Louis Woodworkers’ Guild have carved over 21,000 wooden toys for children in local hospitals.
‘For the past 12 years, Patton and a group of woodworkers have quietly crafted toys and activity kits for children at local hospitals. Other than a handful of thank you notes, they’ve received little recognition for their labor. And the vast majority have never met the children who enjoy their work.
…After delivering toys to several hospitals on a recent Tuesday, Patton walked through his Crestwood home, pointing out what he and others have made during the years. There were tugboats and sailboats, cats, cars and a helicopter. There was a mouse with a tail made from a piece of twine.
He gestured to an elaborate wooden puzzle on the bar in his basement.
“We made 20 or 30 of these one year,” he said.
On that morning, his delivery included 124 wooden airplanes, trinket boxes, mice and cats.’
The toys are delivered unfinished so that recovering children can paint them. ‘”It gives me an activity,” Patton said. “I enjoy it. . . . They [the children] need activities.”‘
According to a study by the Eastern Virginia Medical School, mothers aren’t the only ones at risk for postpartum depression. Researchers said that a ‘strikingly high’ number of fathers are also affected.
‘In a study of more than 5,000 U.S. couples that had recently had a baby, 14 percent of mothers and 10 percent of fathers were found to have significant levels of depression….
…The 10-percent rate in the current study is substantial, according to the researchers, being more than twice the rate seen among the general U.S. population of men.
Most people, including health professionals, don’t even think of fathers as having postpartum depression, said lead study author Dr. James F. Paulson….’
The focus of the study was on the effects of depression on the parenting abilities of mothers and fathers; the effect being, of course, less positive interaction between parents and their infant children.
I can’t recall experiencing any significant depression after Ian’s birth, apart from the insurmountable terror of being allowed to leave the hospital without so much as a ‘Hey, do you know what you’re doing?’ But it certainly doesn’t surprise me that fathers are quite susceptible to postpartum depression. The impact of having a child, on anyone’s life, simply cannot be overstated.
I’m a little shocked that the study found only a 4% discrepancy between mothers and fathers, a difference which, perhaps, could easily be attributed to hormones. Let alone, you know, having given birth.
Did anyone here experience depression after your child was born?
According to a small study by the National Women’s Education Center in Japan, Korean fathers spend less time with their children than their international counterparts (donga.com). 1,000 parents from six countires—South Korea, Thailand, Sweden, the United States, France, and Japan—were interviewed.
‘The results showed that the Korean fathers spent as little as 2.8 hours a day on average in 2005, the lowest figure among the countries.
Japan followed Korea with a figure of 3.1 hours, then came France with 3.8 hours, the U.S. and Sweden with 4.6 hours and Thailand 5.9 hours in order.’
Korea’s statistics are down from 3.6 hours in 1994. Longer work days are cited as the biggest cause for the decline; 53% of Korean fathers work more than forty-nine hours per week, and nearly 32% work longer than sixty.
I work forty hours per week, and I still feel as though I don’t have enough time with my family. I’ll see Ian for maybe a half-hour in the mornings, and less than four hours when I get home.
Go, Thailand!
According to a study at Princeton University, becoming a father may stimulate brain development:
‘In both first-time and experienced [marmoset] fathers with dependent offspring, the team found structural changes in the prefrontal cortex, a region of the brain important for planning and memory. In these areas the neurons showed signs of enhancement, with a greater number of connections. They also had more receptor sites for the hormone vasopressin.’
Alas, the some of the benefits seem to be temporary, and return to normal as infants mature toward independence. I certainly remember rolling my eyes at my father more and more as I got older.
A federal judge has dismissed ‘Roe vs. Wade…for Men’, which was filed by the National Center for Men on behalf of Matt Dubay. The judge ruled the lawsuit frivolous, and Dubay was ordered to pay attourney fees to the state.
There’s been no statement yet from either the NCM or Dubay. Even if this case ends here, it won’t be the last. As long as our legal system continues to send the message that a father’s role is limited to his wallet, men will only be encouraged to neglect their responsibilities.
‘”This feels like the judge just slammed the door in Matt’s face,” said Mel Feit, director of the National Center for Men, …. “The case wasn’t litigated. Shame on him for doing that. That showed bias against Matt.’
The Seattle Times recently published an article about the fathers of Generation X, and the differences between their Baby-Boomer counterparts.
‘When Reach Advisors surveyed 3,000 parents, Gen X dads spent twice as much time with children as baby-boomer dads, Chung said. ….
Even so, younger dads are still frustrated with that amount, wishing they could be around more. “The concept of ‘quality time’ has disappeared with Generation X,” Chung noted. “It’s not what they can do for kids, but what they can do with them.”‘
Pretty accurate. The article also highlights trends already familiar to Blogfathers, and young new fathers in general: family as a priority, more personal involvement, the dearth of fatherhood resources, and frustration with popular stereotypes of dads. We’re not alone, guys. Does this sound familiar:
‘”When I take Ethan to the park or go grocery shopping, I see dads with kids all over the place,” [Chris] Yeargin said. “But when I get to the checkout stand, I still get the ‘Oh, you’re baby-sitting today’ comments. No, I’m not baby-sitting, and neither are all of these other dads.”‘
Lately it seems that these issues are popping up everywhere, more and more often. Last month, Jeremy was featured on CNN’s Digital Life podcast for this very topic (MP3).
Which raises the question, yet again: when are we starting a fatherhood magazine?
According to the Associated Press, Michigan Assistant Attorney General Joel D. McGormley argued that men can’t decline to pay child support simply because they don’t want to become fathers. The argument was part of McGormley’s request to dismiss the lawsuit filed by The National Center for ‘Men’ (quotation marks mine), which is being called ‘Roe vs. Wade…for Men™‘ (trademark symbol theirs).
The presiding judge has said that he will make a ruling, but didn’t specify a timeframe. I’ll be keeping an eye on the case, and will post updates of any new information.
The lawsuit was filed on March 9, 2006 on behalf of Matt Dubay, a 25-year-old man who says he shouldn’t have to pay child support for a daughter he never wanted. Dubay ‘insists that the child’s mother repeatedly assured him she could not get pregnant and…that she knew he did not want to have a child with her’.
‘The’ child, not ‘his’ child. Oh, what a difference a pronoun makes.
I’ve made it clear how I feel about the situation. It’s not the Mother’s fault if the Father slept through Biology; nor is it a child’s fault if his Mother did the same. This case isn’t about ‘equal protection’ for men, as the NCM claims. It’s about creating a legal excuse to be selfish and irresponsible.
This case also reinforces the stereotype that men are prats. Thanks, Matt. Not only do you want to shirk your duties as a father, you also want to make it harder for the rest of us.
So, what can we do, apart from making snide comments in obscure blogs? Should we start a National Center for Real Men? Actually, you can join the National Fatherhood Initiative’s Dads Club, or show your support for fathers and fatherhood by wearing their ‘No Ifs‘ bracelet. I have a general taboo against bracelets, car ribbons, and patriotic antenna toppers, but, for this, I’m willing to make an exception.
The bracelets are sold in packs of two, so I have an extra. If you really think you’ll wear it, let me know, and it’s yours.
Kids do stupid things. The dumbest moments of childhood seem to be when a boy doesn’t know any better, and just wants to see what happens. This is the beauty of children, and their charm. It is also the leading cause of high blood pressure, premature baldness, Valium dependancy, global warming, and Menudo.
Thankfully, Ian’s never done anything so obvious as open an emergency exit or pull a fire alarm. He once broke a porcelain sheep figurine in Scotland, but I blame the manufacturer for making it look like it could bounce. That, my wallet (and heart) can handle.
But what if it’d been a $1.5M sheep?
A 12-year-old visitor to the Detroit Institute of Arts stuck a wad of gum to a $1.5 million painting, leaving a stain the size of a quarter, officials say….he took a piece of Wrigley’s Extra Polar Ice gum out of his mouth and stuck it on Helen Frankenthaler’s “The Bay,” an abstract painting from 1963.
How, exactly, does one ‘discipline’ one’s child in such a case? Assuming the defibrillator works, of course.
(Thanks, Jason!)
[Note to self: no chewing gum in art museums. Or history museums. Or...you know what, Ian can just do without.]
