Lost

I’ve recently become involved in local government, and spent much of last night in a budget meeting. I was able to spend two hours with Kelly and Ian before the meeting; not nearly enough time for any of us.

Ian’s been going through a Mommy & Me phase, so it took a bit of cajoling to get him to snuggle with me. Kelly pulled a guilt-trip, and told Ian that I’d had a bad day, was leaving soon, and was sad. I pouted—partly—for effect.

He and I spent a few blessed minutes snuggling on the couch and watching TV, Ian curled on my chest. Finally I sighed, rubbed his head, and told him that I had to leave for my meeting. He lifted his head, ‘You’re leaving?’ I nodded. ‘Now?’ I nodded. ‘No!’ He put his head back down, and resumed snuggling.

We both kept insisting, and Ian was briefly on the verge of tears. I sat up to make my way to the front door. ‘I”m sorry, kiddo, I really have to go.’

‘You’re leaving?’ I nodded. ‘Now?’ I nodded. ‘Go!’ And he pushed me. ‘Go!’ I returned nearly four hours later, long after Ian was in bed and asleep.

Early this morning, around four o’clock, Ian woke, crying. I threw off the blanket and padded to his room. He was sniffling as I opened the door, his hair plastered to his head with sweat; summer has arrived in St. Louis. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ He sat up.

‘I lost you.’

‘You lost me?’

‘Yeah!’ Oh.

‘Well, I’m here now. Go back to sleep, hon.’

‘Okay.’ And he did.