It is every boy’s dream. Girls’, too, but we have dibs, because only a boy can truly appreciate the thrill of climbing through a rebar tunnel, hundreds of feet above the ground. At the entrance, a warning sign proclaims that ‘you will get hurt’.
I managed to get home in time, threw my bag into the living room, and ran to assume the position in our downstairs bathroom. While I was waiting for the inevitable, I heard Ian calling from the den. ‘Daddy? Daddy?’ Kelly replied, ‘Honey, Daddy’s sick right now. Leave him alone, okay?’
Yesterday, against admonishment, my daughter balanced on the couch back, fell and cut her mouth. Because I saw it happen I knew she was not hurt, and yet a child’s blood’s so red it stops a father’s heart. My daughter cried her tears; I held some ice against her lip. That was the end of […]
Kelly was upstairs, and found this when she came back down. Not only had Ian turned on the NES (a miracle in itself), he also found the correct controller (of 5) and had started the game. A friend and I had played last night, after Ian had gone to bed. The last time Ian saw […]
Eventually we’d pause to let Ian sing, which he did, because why else would everyone be staring at him, expectantly? Even grandpa, who really should be watching the road. So, Ian started singing ‘car’ and ‘bye-bye’ on cue, and several head-on collisions were avoided.
The fifth present from great-grandma’s 12 Days of Christmas. The only problem here is the assumption that we’ll remember to put a hat and gloves on our child. When he doesn’t complain, it means he isn’t cold, right? Right?!
The fourth present from great-grandma’s 12 Days of Christmas package. Socks – the orange sweatshirt and overalls are just an eerie coincidence.
In contrast to Ian’s apparently relatively normal habits, here are samplings from parents whose kids’ freak flags are flying proudly.
The third present of great-grandma’s 12 Days of Christmas. Parents love nothing more than books that play high-pitched Christmas music. Nothing!
Gift two from great-grandma’s 12 Days of Christmas package. Apparently my son has a drinking problem.