It is every boy’s dream. Girls’, too, but we have dibs, because only a boy can truly appreciate the thrill of climbing through a rebar tunnel, hundreds of feet above the ground. At the entrance, a warning sign proclaims that ‘you will get hurt’.
I managed to get home in time, threw my bag into the living room, and ran to assume the position in our downstairs bathroom. While I was waiting for the inevitable, I heard Ian calling from the den. ‘Daddy? Daddy?’ Kelly replied, ‘Honey, Daddy’s sick right now. Leave him alone, okay?’
Eventually we’d pause to let Ian sing, which he did, because why else would everyone be staring at him, expectantly? Even grandpa, who really should be watching the road. So, Ian started singing ‘car’ and ‘bye-bye’ on cue, and several head-on collisions were avoided.
The fifth present from great-grandma’s 12 Days of Christmas. The only problem here is the assumption that we’ll remember to put a hat and gloves on our child. When he doesn’t complain, it means he isn’t cold, right? Right?!
In contrast to Ian’s apparently relatively normal habits, here are samplings from parents whose kids’ freak flags are flying proudly.
The third present of great-grandma’s 12 Days of Christmas. Parents love nothing more than books that play high-pitched Christmas music. Nothing!
Gift two from great-grandma’s 12 Days of Christmas package. Apparently my son has a drinking problem.